I don't know what possessed me to encourage my husband to join. We were broke and thought, Hey, a forty thousand dollar bonus could come in handy someday.
So much for that. Apparently we don't get it until the end of his enlistment. Six years from now. Sorry creditors, take it up with Uncle Sam.
I wonder what will happen when we're done with this six year sentence.. I don't remember what it felt like to live in a real home as opposed to the apartments we've been migrating to. I don't remember what it was like to have a job, and I definitely don't remember morning sex.
I like answering questions on Yahoo answers. It makes me feel like I have friends somewhere. Pathetic, screwed up friends who may or may not be pregnant. So many women on there ask questions like, "How do I get a military man to marry me?" and "I think guys in uniform are sooooOoOo hoooot!" To be more accurate, most are probably high school girls, but it's such a rediculous misconception.
The thing is.. I am a military brat, born and raised. Slutty mom and crazy-ass dad n' all. I used to love it, and even thought about joining myself for a while, but now I wonder what the hell I was thinking. The schedules are always changing and it's pretty hard to adjust to. Today my husband had a 7:30 formation, and of course slept in until 7:08. I'm not sure if he got a counseling statement for it because we're not exactly on speaking terms right now. (i.e. He says the sleeping in was my fault. I say, Hell no.)
Tomorrow he has to get up for a 4:30 formation. His logical conclusion is to stay up all night so that he doesn't sleep in again, which again he reminds me is my fault for letting him stay up too late.
Okay then. That'll teach me to sex anybody up... ever again!
My husband has adjustment disorder and acute anxiety disorder in combination with severe depression. His therapist says so. (I totally called it! Point for me!) I want to be sympathetic, but when someone pisses you off so freakin much, it's difficult to care. If that makes me a bitch, so be it.
The mood swings are tiring. They truly make me want to punch him in the face or shake him and scream, WHERE IS THE SWEET SENSITIVE GUY I MARRIED?? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!? But I'm just not sure that would go over well. I don't want to deal with his drama anymore, but the fact is: I really do still love him. And I hope, someday, he'll come back and be passionate about something, anything.
I guess that's what bothers me the most. Through a year of basic training and AIT he has lost just about everything that made him interesting or unique. He has no hobbies, no interests, no passion, no drive, and no ambition. We used to stay up all night plotting and fantasizing about the future. Now, if I get a two word sentence out of him, it's a good day. 12 hours of work and 6+ hours of TV a day does not a healthy marriage make.
I'm close to scrapping the whole damn thing, but I'm too prideful. My parents would totally throw this failure in my face. Oh well. Maybe a good affair is what I need.
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